Victoria Peace Green

Children's Author * Freelance Writer

Category: bullying

GENERATION Z- UNCERTAINTY CLOUDS THEIR MINDS

Our grandson is a game junkie. That’s not a judgement- it’s a fact. I have heard many a complaint from parents for they too have a teen that seems to spend more time online, or on phone with social media, or gaming, or u-tubing. It might be all bad from our perspective. What is our perspective?

It all depends on what generation you are a part of. Today’s teens and tweens are by default born in Generation Z. This guarded lonely culture, consists of kids born 1999 to the present. Shockingly to many of us that have not put much question as to why our kids behave the way they do, the definition to what Generation Z is can be summed up pretty much as the generation that doesn’t know what it is like to live without fear. To live in a threat-free society is absent from their lives; past or present. They desire to find ‘safe-spaces’ where they are included but not judged. They are a coddled group mostly because their parents rightfully are fearful for their children in today’s world. They don’t know what it is like to go outside to play without supervision. They are not “allowed” to walk where their hearts take them for their parents fear of what the media warns us; kidnapping. Polls say they don’t want to learn to drive for fear of death.

What happened in 2000 and up to this very day – the years in which these non-risk-taking kids were born? All we have to do is re-play one catastrophe after another to know the answer. School shootings, bombs, terrorism of all forms, wars that do not stop, 911, TV news reporting 24/7 fearful and anxiety breeding news. You could have a host more and it all is summed up as UNCERTAINTY 24/7. Now ask yourself again…. why does my kid sit on social media? Could it be they feel safer inside that ‘world’ where threats seem easier to experience? A world they can pretty much create? Or so they think. Actually, predators like cyber-bullying are just within a click away. While seeking relief, they fall further into what they fear- unsafe places.
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WHAT ROLE MODELS DO YOUR KIDS HAVE?

Children imitate behavior.It’s that easy. Most of us can remember the few adults in our lives which had great influence. Remember the not-so- good ones? Some of those role models many of us are still trying to forget! But healthy role models challenged us and encouraged us like no one else. We wanted to be like them. They helped us come to places of great decision- the ones that affected the outcome of our lives.

Of course the most obvious first role models for any child are us parents and then grandparents, aunts, uncles, older cousins and of course teachers! What is healthy in modeling behavior? If we smoke, drink, swear, gossip, or just sit around and watch TV- it’s very likely our kids will do the same. We can preach all about not doing those things but if we do them- well, I remember my mother would advise me but if I saw her do what was the opposite or be a hypocrite- then all was lost! Continue reading

Power-Words To Feed Our Kid’s Hearts and Minds- 24/7

I was at the grocery store the other day. I don’t like grocery stores. Just too chaos and too many choices to make…. so I enjoy studying any kids and their parents that are also engaged in each other and  in the experience of shopping. I decided after cleaning my cart with those wipe things to make a study on what I heard between kids and adults.

Moms and some dads were hustling around with kids in tow or in the carts. I listened as if I had no eyes. In fact in places where it was safe to do so, I closed my eyes as I heard ‘conversation’ between adults and children. I wanted to cry. Why? The parents talked at their kids not with their kids, the kids nagging, nagging for whatever reason, then the big shouting match telling the kids “NO” only to be followed with more nagging. I have to say the bazar habit of parents talking or texting on their phones, while they are supposed to be choosing groceries and being attentive to their children, has got to be the most unrecognized neglectful adult behavior. What are they teaching their kids while they do this? Uhhhh…..for starters, how about its OK to ignore those you are with. And they learn to do the same thing with their own friends and family !

 IMAGINE OUR KIDS AS GROWN UP KIDS 

 I asked myself, if all these kids were grown up and walking beside their parent how the conversations would be different? We ought to try walking at the store or anywhere with our kids and imagining they are adult kids. Or we might pretend that sweet 3 foot tall child is our own friend we enjoyed a bite to eat with at the lunch hour today.

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FEARS AND HOW THEY TAKE CONTROL OF OUR PRE-TEENS?

Our earliest painful memories in childhood often influence the way we look at injustices and pain as adults.  When I was 10 years old, my dog became lost. In those days, our pets roamed the neighborhoods so we had a great expanse to cover in order to find her. All I could do or think about was to find our dog.  We looked in all the familiar places that she would like to sleep and places she would retreat to when too many of us kids were around!  But all our efforts brought empty and extremely sad results.

That feeling I carried for many years. I kept thinking of how scared and afraid my dog must have been. Now, as a seasoned adult that same emotion resurfaces when I hear about lost children, taken children or rejected children. Psychologists have discovered that one of a tween’s greatest fears is: “What if I do not find friends; what if no one likes me. It is like I would be lost.” That is a huge red flag for those of us with tween’s. Just think of how we can be used of God to help our child make and keep friends; friends that he/she will remember with good memories. Continue reading

A NEW SCHOOL YEAR BEGINS – MIXED EMOTIONS

August brings the end of summer vacation. And with the end of summer brings mixed emotions that begin to plague kids. Some kids can hardly wait to pick out their back-pack and a few new clothes and wait for that school bell to chime (or buzz in some cases!). However, there other kids that begin to bite their nails, get stomach aches, act up, and just plain become anxious about the thought of school. 

A bullying  experience might be part of the problem-  even one instance can change a child from a extrovert to introvert. And from a confident child to an anxious/insecure child.

Many parents might see their anxious / nervous child as a bewildering challenge. They have no idea in many cases that a a bullying experience even occurred. But no matter the reason for this change in behaviors; from being confident to being worried and upset,  moms and dads have a great opportunity to comfort and reassure their child. Continue reading