Victoria Peace Green

Children's Author * Freelance Writer

SUMMER VACATION IS OVER BUT THE FUN DOESN’T HAVE TO BE!

The school hallways are full up again with kids…some kids miss summer time and its chill time and miss the ‘no routine’. Well, summer is still around because FALL doesn’t begin officially until Sept 21st.

What to do when the homework is done and dad and mom are home too?

Dig up some cool things to make everyone smile and laugh. Maybe Do an evening of games– the old fashion games! The UNO AND THE SCATAGORIES! Maybe Monopoly or Clue! How about after dinner doing some old fashion S’mores ! Yup! Strike up the grill and get those grammies and marshmallows out and don’t forget the Hershey’s.

Phones can get in the way of family fun. Well, pretend for even an hour that they are not yet to be invented. So, what to do? TALK! Yup. Talk AROUND THE TABLE or sit around the family room and talk about your HIGH point for that day and the LOW, or not-so-good- time of that day. Talk about what you like most about one another. Talk about how you might pray for one another. Ask what one another how you might pray and write it down so you WILL actually remember to pray. Back to school can bring anxieties. Kids getting use to new grade level and new responsibilities and new friends. Family time brings stability, comfort, renews love, and helps kids and adults stay solid in their faith.

Summertime evenings like these are great fun once you make them a routine. Just like any of your routines, they can be looked forward to and shared with friends!

https://www.sheknows.com/parenting/articles/842477/50-family-fun-night-ideas-for-families/

https://www.sheknows.com/parenting/articles/824467/5-games-to-play-at-the-dinner-table/

https://www.christianitytoday.com/women/2017/january/parenting-in-age-of-anxiety-children-teens.html

https://www.crosswalk.com/family/parenting/kids/10-benefits-of-family-prayer-time.html

OUR TWEENS ARE BEGINNING A NEW YEAR!

Beginning a new school is pretty tough for any of our children, but when out tween begins middle school even the more confident child can have some frustrations and anxieties. How best can they begin to feel a part of the new community of middle school?

Clubs! Tween’s need their group or their pack! Clubs are a wonderful answer to feeling included and assured of friends!

FUN- Just because it is school doesn’t mean it can’t be fun. Learning about their talents and discovering (perhaps for the first time) new interests brings both shy and extroverted tweens to new and exciting levels. Let’s encourage our child to pursue what he/she knows they are talented in but also to expand on new interests. There are typical clubs like art, music, yearbook, band or orchestra and all just waiting to bring fresh looks into what they already know. Less traditional are scrapbooking, green club, leadership club, math, building clubs, technology, and many other clubs.

NOT BORING BUT.. SOMETHING TO TALK ABOUT- It’s not just about ABC’s or math like in elementary school. Now school community becomes a variety and variety makes a difference in how our tween views learning. Without the school clubs there would be no extracurricular plays, art shows, technology contests, yearbooks to collect, school leaders, competitions of all sorts and the list keeps on growing.

NO WASTE OF TIME– Making friends for most middle school children is on the top two of their list of: How Best to Survive School! Schools are now very much aware of the ‘bully’ and are proactive in seeing the bully’s demise. Clubs are a great tool and guard against bullying. It’s not a waste of time when your child comes home with smiles and good attitude because of the new like-minded friends they met in their club. Clubs can be a shot in the arm for your tween’s attitude even in their school work. Clubs can and do make a whole lot of difference!

LEARNING COMMITMENT/RESPONSIBILITY– Middle school clubs are not going to demand a lot of your child’s time so that they have no time- but they will require meetings and some do programs/events. This is all good. Your child’s peers can teach commitment and responsibility in a realistic way!  Working with their peer group helps children to get along and to be a team member- a lot like real life, right?! They will learn social etiquette even when dealing with kids they do not especially like as well as learning to work with sudden challenges. So as a parent we need to make sure we talk over with our child, the time elements and the load of responsibility that may come along with it.

PAVES THE WAY INTO THE HIGH SCHOOL- Just like adults need resumes for a good position, our kids need a record on their middle school record that says: “This child was in this club and that club” The gifts/talents they discover they process in middle school will be greatly enhanced and better protected as they come into the High School with interests already in tow.

For more ideas:

http://www.ehow.com/how_7720895_join-school-club.html

EXPECTATIONS OR EXPECTANCY….

THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN EXPECTATIONS AND EXPECTANCY is that expectations say “this is what I deserve,” and then, when our expectations aren’t met, the result is disappointment and disillusionment. We cannot have expectations of how God will answer our prayers. On the other hand, expectancy is being hopeful but open. (Check out Sam Francart’s blog –https://samfrancart.theworldrace.org/?filename=expectations-vs-expectancy

What makes or breaks your day– even today? We wake up and before we even open our eyes, we are thinking……what? Our thinking can wake us up with worries and dreads and thoughts that are not conducive to a productive morning or day. Anxiousness or disillusionment are already wrapping themselves around our minds as we roll out of our rumpled sheets.

I THINK disillusionment is all about what WE need to get done that day and it is all we think in the NEED category. If we don’t get one thing after another on our LIST accomplished, then we have a broken day. Unmet EXPECTATIONS! We are disappointed, disillusioned. . Bottom line, OUR focus is on our goal and not the journey as part of the thing to get done. Our true mind-health is our attitude on the journey!

I learned a few winters ago that I too fell into “I need to get that done and I expect it to happen”…and when it didn’t, I would get upset, my day went downhill. But then, I really paid attention to some reading I was into and BINGO….I saw my whole upside-down thinking was messing with my mind.

Expectancy says something quite opposite of expecting stuff to be done. It’s refreshing and like adventurous. It takes the pressure off me! It’s taking the focus off my control and me, myself, and I. When I truly practiced the expectancy my day became and is to this day a day of “I wonder” or “why am I really here doing such and such not getting what I want…it isn’t always about my thing…but about the thing that God wants me to be doing. It’s HIS thing. And His thing is all His work and His methods and His purpose! He’s got it!

Let me know your thoughts here on my BLOG!

https://victoriapeacegreen.com/you-said-you-promised/

I want to keep living in EXPECTANCY! Why didn’t I do that all along?

YOU SAID YOU PROMISED!

But you promised me! I rearranged my schedule so we could go! I don’t get it? We talked this so many times and you said, “I promise you Honey, you know how much you mean to me.”

How many times have we heard the above painful responses? Maybe your child is broken-hearted from a best friend letting them down. Or how many times have those been our responses? I don’t know about you, but I have been on both ends, the receiver of a promise broken and a promise breaker. Trusting others with our hearts can be a fearful place to be; but then most of us are in that place- inside loving relationships. Our hearts are in other peoples’ hands.

What do you think? Where do you put those relationships and how much power do you allow them over your heart/mind? I think the answer to that one question can determine our truly authentic peace of mind in every relationship.

We humans can’t be what others want us to be – perfect. Perfect in that we should be kind, trustworthy, forgiving, and just about every other attribute that makes for happiness. But ooops, it doesn’t work that way. Humans are not perfect. Sin and it’s lethal inborne tragedy is a part of every human on earth. Humans aren’t perfect but there is ONE source who is and was and will always be: God.  In all His ways He is not only perfect but He can’t be other than perfect . His perfect character makes His promises true, trustworthy. True to be always and forever His WORD unbroken. Why? Because the Word of is alive!

For the word of God is alive and powerful. It is sharper than the sharpest two-edged sword, cutting between soul and spirit, between joint and marrow. It exposes our innermost thoughts and desires. Hebrews 4:12

God is not a man, so he does not lie. He is not human, so he does not change his mind. Has he ever spoken and failed to act? Has he ever promised and not carried it through? Numbers 23:19

I struggled with other people not meeting my needs- their promises to me were like water through a sieve. After years of not ‘getting it’ I have finally seen that ONLY GOD; through Jesus Christ can meet my needs. Those pormises others say they have for me? The Lord Jesus is the promise keeper and Him alone. So, I am not surprised when others let me down. Sure, it hurts and many times lives are destroyed because of broken promises from people, but God……   He is in the business of healing! Healing those who turn to His grace and mercy! Look into God’s Word for yourself! There is no better time to begin to hide or memorize God’s Word so you can hide it in your heart!

Let me know your take on this BLOG post!

GENERATION Z- UNCERTAINTY CLOUDS THEIR MINDS

Our grandson is a game junkie. That’s not a judgement- it’s a fact. I have heard many a complaint from parents for they too have a teen that seems to spend more time online, or on phone with social media, or gaming, or u-tubing. It might be all bad from our perspective. What is our perspective?

It all depends on what generation you are a part of. Today’s teens and tweens are by default born in Generation Z. This guarded lonely culture, consists of kids born 1999 to the present. Shockingly to many of us that have not put much question as to why our kids behave the way they do, the definition to what Generation Z is can be summed up pretty much as the generation that doesn’t know what it is like to live without fear. To live in a threat-free society is absent from their lives; past or present. They desire to find ‘safe-spaces’ where they are included but not judged. They are a coddled group mostly because their parents rightfully are fearful for their children in today’s world. They don’t know what it is like to go outside to play without supervision. They are not “allowed” to walk where their hearts take them for their parents fear of what the media warns us; kidnapping. Polls say they don’t want to learn to drive for fear of death.

What happened in 2000 and up to this very day – the years in which these non-risk-taking kids were born? All we have to do is re-play one catastrophe after another to know the answer. School shootings, bombs, terrorism of all forms, wars that do not stop, 911, TV news reporting 24/7 fearful and anxiety breeding news. You could have a host more and it all is summed up as UNCERTAINTY 24/7. Now ask yourself again…. why does my kid sit on social media? Could it be they feel safer inside that ‘world’ where threats seem easier to experience? A world they can pretty much create? Or so they think. Actually, predators like cyber-bullying are just within a click away. While seeking relief, they fall further into what they fear- unsafe places.
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HOW DO YOU SEE THE OLYMPICS?

 

OLYMPICS

I so enjoyed watching the Wide World of Sports when I was just a  girl with my Dad! 😊We would sit on the couch side by side, my Dad would be overcome with either complete shouting joy or shout at the TV and nearly falling off the couch in anger! Never the less it was where I gained my love for football. 🙂  Then the Wide World of Sports continued with my husband 😊 until it was off the air in 1998. ☹ My husband and I laugh from time to time when one of us, while watching like these Olympics look at the other and say… “AWWW, the thrill of victory and…..the agony of defeat!” A bit of trivia…who was the announcer?

We look forward to both summer and winter events of the Olympics…. some not so much and others with great enthusiasm. With that  word said, “enthusiasm”, is to me, one of the classic emotions of the games.

In fact, what all of the games carry simultaneously are EXTREME emotions. No moderate emotion in between! Have you ever thought about it? I mean from the thrill of victory is what these mostly young adults are seeking and to stay on a that high! Their goal? Duh! THE GOLD. Aw, yes, the silver or the bronze are nice but the GOLD is the Thrill of Victory. I always have thought that tiny little phrase should be engraved on the back of each GOLD metal. Ha! JK, but no doubt about it we have all seen the Gold medal winner in their inexplicable thrill.

But then there is the other EXTREME emotion…the horrible and don’t even mention-type emotion of the agony of defeat that haunts that skier or skater, bob sled racer or snow boarder!!! The stomach churns and the face becomes pale, the heart pounds too many beats for comfort and then its time! Their time has come to attain the GOLD …what they have done for the past 4 years suddenly turns into the AGONY of defeat.

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JANUARY – WINTERS HIDDEN MESSENGER

Why is January seem so long?
I went for a walk today. Its been cold but no rain here in California until yesterday! The rains are coming back to Northern California!

As I stepped outside to begin my walk I felt like ugh, maybe I won’t go out into the cold, the seemingly deadness of all the trees and sky so gray. It all made me want to just curl up in a blanket instead.
But I forced myself! So, as I went- the trees surprised me. I think I began to think and look at just why January was seemingly longer than other months and that the trees really were not cold and dead-looking! Maybe it seemed longer because December was so full of busy-ness and expectation? I know the trees really aren’t dead but just waiting, waiting for the right time to show-off what the is inside them! They are all different type trees up here …many varieties! Each tree I began to see is majorly full of HOPE…a hope that will be real to the eye come Spring. So, as I walked I thought to myself that the trees had a message for me. Everything that has life has HOPE just waiting to come forth. To be realized and become…. whatever it is inside, like the unique trees will one day, display gorgeous blossoms or leaves with birds to nest in, I too have all this God-given purpose inside me and it is to be ‘displayed’ at just the right time! The gray skies have a powerful sun behind them with blue skies!

Today I found more than a cold and empty January! Expecting more from tomorrows walk! What a place to encourage my family, grandkids and friends. What is your take on January? Please leave  your comments at bottom of the post!

OUR TWEENS AND TEENS ARE MORE ANXIOUS THAN EVER THESE DAYS

                             

WHAT DID YOU READ about this morning or hear on the radio on your way into work? These days 9 times out of 10 the answer is just NOT GOOD NEWS. No matter what are personal opinions are about today’s world, politics, and the seemingly continued chaos, the news affects your emotions if you are truly honest with yourself. And more so if you are a parent of a middle schooler or high schooler. Our kids take it all in as much as we do but don’t have the years of experiential living to deal with it.

Studies show that their young minds are getting more and more anxiety ridden and most don’t realize this constant barrage of bad news brings on overwhelming symptoms. We parents are in position to defuse or lighten the emotions of our kids. If you could list the top 4 reasons why our teens and middle schoolers are depressed/anxiety ridden what would that list look like? Anything like this one I researched?

Control of the world around them or no control of their own lives adds to depression and anxiety. Lack of control or too much control affects them. Compared to decades past, today’s social issues, diseases, excess of materialism brings on confusion and the feeling that these impressionable youths have no control over their own lives.

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REAL LIFE LESSONS TAUGHT OUR KIDS DURING FAMILY TIMES= VALUES LEARNED

REAL LIFE LESSONS TAUGHT OUR KIDS DURING FAMILY TIMES= VALUES LEARNED

Having a security system is a top priority for many families today. This weekend Thomas and I are installing a security system in our new home! We decided since we have always had one, it was best to purchase one for home. Peace of mind as well as safeguarding our home is a makes this a worthy purchase.

        Our new system has a master or mother board. The components work off of this base. It is a transmitter alarming all the components to do ‘their jobs’. You can go all out and get stuff like sirens/freeze sensor/carbon monoxide detector/glassbreak sensors/panic button/smoke detectors, and the list goes on!   

         I was thinking what a terrific event this would be for a young family. All the conversation, lessons learned, and even values taught could bounce off the installation of a security system! No better way to instill life lessons than to involve your kids in the project!  

          Why do people need security? What is an intruder? Besides a home, how might a person guard their mind and heart? What about the people or friends you hang out with, things you do or possess, places you visit, games you play, and stuff you read? Like the alarm system has a master or mother board and then the various add-ons or components work off them, how can this security system help parents explain the above? Continue reading

HAVE YOUR TWEEN’S OR TEENS INTERESTS BECOME OBESSIONS?

Have your Tween or Teen’s Interests Become Obsessions?

Lately you notice your tween or teen rearranging their room; one detail after another. For several months, all they did was do games or talk about the stuff on their I-pod touches. Games and apps flooded your tweens mind! Becoming one-tracked or obsessed in our thinking can cut anyone off from other activities or friends.

Interests or passions are what makes life exciting and help your kids to discover what they might like to do as an adult!  But though it is so important to have interests and learn all about them, it is also cool to have a balance! Balance is making our daily lives useful for us and others.

Why not:take that awesome interest and find new ways learn about it. Maybe suggest decorating their room and then let their friends know they’d like to help them do the same. Or again suggest your teen meet with other kids regularly to just talk and research their interests on the net about some great design ideas!

Instead of playing games on their iPod-touch or on the X-Box or other device, help your tween or teen see their talent for making up a game or making of video of an idea they have. Are any of our kids talented with drawing? Help them to see that gift in drawing a game and it’s different levels?  Gather  a few kids together regularly and brainstorm ways to turn computer games into board games for younger kids!  

Kids are always ready and eager for us parent’s positive/constructive comments and yes, even compliments! We can’t praise their work/efforts/and their willingness to work together, enough!

 

Please leave me your comments!

 

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